The glitter of diamonds engagement rings competes with the twinkling of holiday lights.
Twenty-six percent of all engagements take place during the holiday season.
There are four words heard more often this time of year than any other season - and they're not "Merry Christmas, Happy New Year." The holidays are a time for warm and fuzzy family gatherings, rekindling childhood friendships and igniting romantic relationships.
Will you marry me?" is heard under mistletoe, at comfy corner tables-for- two and around red-bowed Douglas fir trees. The glitter of diamond engagement rings competes with the twinkling of holiday lights. For many, this festive season begins and ends with the "C" word: commitment.
Christmas weddings and engagements get hot just when the weather turns cold. "We book more weddings in January and February because everybody gets engaged over the holiday season," says Joy Fox, banquet director and certified wedding planner for D'Ignazio's Towne House in Media. "Guys recognize that they can't go wrong and women like to show off their rings to friends and family. Most couples plan to marry within seven to nine months after their engagement."
Even the blogosphere is a-chatter with the big news. "It's hard this time of year because more and more people get engaged and leave us behind. It's hard not to be jealous. Anyone else becoming obsessed with engagement thoughts?" writes KissyKissy on a diamond consumer information Web site. She gets 27 instant responses.
For many women of all ages, the yuletide season is a time of anticipation: Will he propose? These ladies in waiting eschew the traditional holiday gifts in favor of the gift of a lifetime: a wedding engagement ring. "People get caught up in the spirit of giving, love, joy and happiness," says Fox. "It's every little girl's dream to get engaged at Christmastime."
Intimacy expert Helga Hayse, author of "Don't Worry About a Thing, Dear" says Christmas may be the worst time to get engaged. Hayse says that despite the romantic illusion, the holidays are too hectic a time to enter into a lifetime contract.
"There are a lot of distractions and family obligations and then someone surprises you with a ring. Who can say 'No!' to a one-carat diamond," questions Hayse.
"Twenty-six percent of all engagements take place at holiday time. There is a magical haze around Christmas that creates a make-believe world that doesn't exist," she says.
"The fact is an engagement ring is like a letter of intent, a prelude to a contract of commitment and should never be perceived as a gift."
Bah-humbug says the eternal romantic in all of us and retail numbers back us up. According to Blue Nile, the largest retailer of diamonds and engagement rings in the U.S., "June is the traditional month for weddings but for engagements, December takes the prize. One out of five engagements are said to occur in the last month of the year."
Jean Sanders Torrey, a nationally known writer and author of "Why Men Marry and Why Men Don't" says the holidays serve as "a spark or prodding" for men to take a relationship to the next level.
"Sometimes the calendar is the catalyst that gets the man going. An engagement is not the actual commitment of marriage but a step forward. It doesn't involve the legalities or the vows but gives the man training wheels, a learning time, a warming period," she says.
Although in these modern, hurry-up times, the engagement "warming period" has been shortened, Sanders Torrey still believes in a yearlong pre-marital courtship.
"People should stay together for four seasons to get to know each other's habits," she says. "The man may be active in sports like golf and swimming in the spring and summer but spend the winter on the couch. It's best to know these things about your partner in advance."
The mall is the crossroads of the holiday spirit where romance, intimacy and marketing merge. "There is a significant increase in engagements between November and continuing into January. Most of our customers are waiting until Christmas or New Year's Eve to get engaged and its reflected in our sales,' says Gretchen Howie, store manager for Littman Jewelers in the Granite Run Mall.
"Many of our customers share with us how they plan to propose. Some get engaged while decorating the Christmas tree or during dessert in a romantic restaurant. It makes our staff feel part of something special and makes for an excitement in the store."
According to the Diamond Information Center, retail sales of diamonds have steadily been increasing, from $26.3 billion in 2000 to $33.7 billion in 2005. The industry takes in most of its annual diamond sales revenues between the period of Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Howie says it's usually the man who picks out the engagement ring. "The couple have already discussed the subject, visited the store or looked online," she says. "He usually knows what she has in mind and normally knows her ring size. We get very few exchanges."
The ever-pragmatic Helga Hayse believes that despite the giving nature of the season, a ring is no mere gift but rather the signature ink on a long-term contract.
"An engagement ring is a prelude to a lifetime commitment. It should be thought through and each couple should exchange rings. It should be a 2-way street," she says. "If the engagement is broken, in Pennsylvania, the man gets the ring back. That's the law."
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